


The Pythagorean Theorem of Forgiveness

by marigoldies



Category: Atlantis (UK TV)
Genre: Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5925859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marigoldies/pseuds/marigoldies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pythagoras scribbles his feelings away and leaves them for Icarus to find.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pythagorean Theorem of Forgiveness

I have forgotten. I have forgotten the pain that you inflicted so violently on my faith despite the innocence of your intentions. I have forgotten the sadness I felt to know that you of all people could disappoint me where no other could. I have forgotten the sensation of being betrayed so deeply. However, I have only forgotten the way it felt and still cannot find it in my heart to forgive you. You have shown such effort towards redemption that my heart breaks when you ask the same question, over and over and over-- “Am I forgiven?”-- and I cannot bring myself say yes. I cannot change the tides and wash over the wound that you left.

I imagine a time when I can forgive you. It is closer than you may think but farther than you hope. It is when I look at you and no longer think “traitor” when my mind is wandering. It is when I can hear your voice and not imagine it breaking over pleas for your father’s life and sputtering out information only for its value. It is when I scent the morning on your breath and do not follow the thought with the metallic taste of blood. It is when I touch your hands and do not feel them shaking with knowing you did wrong by me. It is when I taste your lips and come back with nothing but love.

I have forgotten these things but they will not let go. They surge up in the moments between absolute perfection. When I have my arms around your neck, my fingers in your hair, and I want nothing more than to finally forgive and apologize for taking so long. Then I remember what I had so wished to forget.

It is like a gate, Icarus. Like a gate with a lock that has a key. Completely forgiving and forgetting lies on one side while I stand on the other, holding this key. Some days I drop the key, some days I fumble with nervousness. Some days I have unlocked this gate but can only take one step forward. Others, I am halfway through and turn around. Having forgotten the hurt itself is the only thing that keeps this key in my hand.

I love you, Icarus. I will always find it in my heart to love you no matter what it is that you do because you were the first to find a place there. You have seated yourself quite comfortably and there is little I can do to remove you. Not that I would want to. Not that I would ever. Not that I would.

I know that you are growing weary of reading this because you only want to know the solution to this theorem. How do you, Icarus, help me to forgive you? How and where do you find my forgiveness?

But you will never find it. Not searching the highest mountains, the deepest caves, or the vastest oceans. If you shook every tree in the  Pholóē oak forest until all the leaves were gone, you would still not find it. It is not in the ways that you have shown your love for me and the gods know you have shown it enough. It is nowhere that you can reach. It is hidden, only for me to find.

I believe what I am trying to say is that I will find it. I know that once I said “never,” but now it is not the same. I believe it is around the next corner, or the next, and I will turn that corner alone and come back to you with it. I beg it of you to wait, just a little longer. I know it must be growing harder to and I will ease that strain as soon as I am able.

I wrote this because it is much easier than speaking. I find that when I write I can sound out my thoughts more eloquently. At least, that is what I hope. I hope for many things, including your understanding.

With my love,

Pythagoras

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the season two finale, I was inspired to write something from Pythagoras's point of view. It became a letter because I am considering a story following this.
> 
> Also, the Pholóē oak forest was a forest that prompted Ancient Greeks to believe in centaurs/fairies so I thought it would work.
> 
> Please feel free to leave feedback.
> 
> You can find me @ marigoldies on tumblr.


End file.
